Netflix’s ‘Bright’-Themed Holiday Fireplace Is Actual Trash
You’d think that spending $90 million on something like Bright (with $3.5 million of that going to Max Friggin’ Landis) would be embarrassing enough for Netflix, especially after all the third-degree burns they suffered from last night’s onslaught of negative reviews. But apparently the fine folks at Netflix are masochists: Not only have they already ordered a sequel to David Ayer’s buddy-cop-orc movie, but they’ve taken their self-own to the next level with a Bright-inspired holiday “fireplace.”
While we continue to puzzle over Will Smith’s decision to sign on for a Bright sequel (before the review embargo was even lifted!), Netflix has taken it upon themselves to release a bizarre bonus feature — you know, for the fans. If the streaming service’s usual array of digital holiday fireplaces featuring boring old logs has you longing to spice things up, Netflix has unleashed what they call a “Bright Edition”:
…And it is literally a trash fire (h/t to /Film). So if logs and…more logs…have grown tedious in your efforts to spruce up family gatherings in your fireplace-less home, why not try a barrel of garbage? Oh, wait, sorry — the fire also changes color throughout. So there’s that.
The first reviews for Bright landed online last night, and the majority of them are — unsurprisingly — exceptionally negative. IndieWire’s David Ehrlich called it the worst film of the year (and he’s seen The Emoji Movie, so he would know). Over at Vanity Fair, our pal Jordan Hoffman bemoans the wasted but familiar Alien Nation-esque premise and suggests you watch The Last Witch Hunter instead. Oof.
The real tragedy here isn’t that Netflix burned a massive pile of money in their own home, or the fact that they could have used that money to feed and shelter the kind of people who have no choice but to gather around a trash fire to stay warm this holiday season, or that they paid Max Landis $3.5 million — the real tragedy is that we didn’t have a chance to see Bright before making our list of the worst movies of the year. Send thoughts and prayers, please.